A Welcomed Distraction

If you’ve been reading my posts, then you’ve likely learned I haven’t posted in quite a while. Partly, because I haven’t had the time and the other part… Well, I just plain haven’t wanted to. I let myself get wrapped up in a torn and shattered blanket of self pittiness where I was never warm or comfortable, and never comforted. I stopped doing things for myself because I stayed focused on everything and everyone else.”Covid hair” is foreal a thing, and we’re not even going to discuss the “Covid 15”. Being a healthcare worker during a pandemic has it’s struggles. Being a missionary trying to get to your “called” destination is worse. I’ve felt like we’ve been in battle now for over a year. Battling to save lives, battling the masks, battling the airlines, battling the government, battling the pharmacy’s, and insurance companies. Trying to keep patients out of the hospital, trying to convince patients to go to the hospital, trying to figure out how to get into another country… It’s been a vicious cycle. So, I finally did what most would do when they reach their breaking point. I fell apart. Straight up ugly cried. I realized then that I was carrying a burden I wasn’t meant to have to carry. I had been trying to keep everyone else afloat and was silently sinking the whole time.

I’ve seen this same senerio more times than I can count. You don’t have to be a healthcare worker/missionary to be feeling the same way. Pastors are going through a hard time, small business owners, large corporate companies, your neighbor even. Give that burden over, don’t hold on to it. Ask the Lord for guidance and direction. He’ll lead you in the path where you need to go.

I haven’t taken a vacation for just me since the pandemic started. Mostly because I felt guilty for potentially leaving my comrades in war or for feeling guilty having a good time when others are struggling to get home to their own country. This weekend, Sam and I headed out to Helen, GA. Let me just say, it was exactly the getaway that I needed. I was reminded that in order to continue where I’m needed, I must be healthy. Mentally, physically, and spiritually. I cannot effectively perform my job in the secular world or spiritual world if I’m not in my right mind. I was also reminded that even in the midst of heartache and struggle, there are still beautiful things to behold. This weekend, I took it all in.